My Lost Family

My handsome nephew Charles Davis and me.

My beautiful niece Dorothy Massey and me.

Many years ago, before my father met my mother, he had a set of twin girls, Ruth and Ester. Their mother, Sally, died during childbirth. As the years went on, my dad married and had another daughter, Sarah Jane (who died last year). Sometime after their divorce, dad moved from North Carolina to Cleveland, Ohio. My mother, who is from South Carolina, moved to Cleveland during this time and at some point, they ended staying in the same apartment building. That is how they met. After living up there for a while, they came back to NC and got married in 1951. It took 11 years for my brother Hampton to come along in June of 1962. Twenty months later, in February 1964, I entered the world, premature and weighing 2 pounds. Although I was not given a positive survival outlook, I survived.
As the years continued, I learned of my half-sister Sarah Jane. I even met her. We even went to NJ to see her and she and her family came to visit a few times when I was growing up. I always though it strange that all my nieces and nephews were older than me! While Sarah Jane and I knew of each other, we were never close. That was hurtful but I learned to live with it.
For reasons unknown to me, I did not hear about my twin half-sisters until I was an adult. By that time, they were both deceased. I cannot ask the "why" question because both of my parents are deceased too. Anyway, no answer would suffice. 

I had always yearned for a sister, and to know I had them but was never able to even see them has hurt me to my core. I believe that is why my closest female friends are so special to me because I look at them as the sisters I never had relationships with.

I love Facebook. Why? Because almost 3 years ago, my daughter posted that she missed her grandfather, Hampton Allen. A stranger, who was one of my nieces, Bay Davis, responded that he was her grandfather too! So, we connected! Then I found out that one of my nephews lived in Lancaster, SC and one of my nieces lived not to far away in another part of SC. Lancaster is one hours drive from my home! All these years I have close family nearby and did not know it. But instead of dwelling on the past and the missed years, we were able to get connected with the SC family and my girls, their children and I planned a trip to Lancaster. I asked that they get as many family members as they could in one spot and send me the address. I cannot tell you the joy we all felt that day. I met a nephew and niece (one from each twin), Charles and Dorothy. Charles wife, also named Dorothy (we call her Dotti to keep them straight). So Dotti made it happen! Everyone brought a dish and we had great eats and great music (old school of course). The best part: we connected on such a deep level that it is impossible to put in words. We even found we like a lot of the same things including food and music. That connection continues to grow stronger.
Although I kept in touch with Bay, she lives in upstate NY. That's a long way from NC. A couple of years ago, I went on a bus trip to NY. Unfortunately, they were not able to come to where I was. I was very disappointed. So, when my husband and I decided to go on a group bus trip to NY this year, I was determined to try a second time to meet more of my family. So I contacted Bay to let her know I was coming that way. Where she lives was only 35 miles from the hotel where I would be staying. I told her in plenty of time because she does not drive and someone would have to bring her. It turns out, her daughter, who works two jobs, brought her. Her daughter also brought her sister and their father to meet me. When I tell you I couldn't stop smiling, I'm not kidding! This was a reunion almost three years in the making! But connecting with my family was so worth the wait. And we look a lot alike as you see in the photos. And Bay and I are the same age! How crazy is that? 

Standing: Hampton's fiance Clesha Henry and Hampton Allen (my brother).
Couple on left: Nephew Charles Davis and wife Dotti. Couple on right: Me and husband Vaughn McMillian.

I still have two more nieces and one nephew to meet, but I am thankful to have met and connected with some of them. When I first met my nephew Charles, his wife Dotti and my niece Dorothy, I thought my heart would burst! Now I realize it was just stretching for me to have more room for my new family. When I met Bay, I had the same feeling of fullness so I knew exactly what it was. My heart was again making even more room for Pat, Marilyn and James, the ones I have yet to meet. Together we will be creating memories that will last us our lifetime! Having a family is a privilege and a blessing. Each day I plan to enjoy mine to the fullest, with gratitude, love and unspeakable joy in my heart. Visit our growing family tree here: https://PlankRoad.MyHeritage.com 

Niece Antonia "Bay" Davis and me.

Left to right: Niece "Bay", her daughter Keisha, me and her daughter Tamara.
They all call me Aunty (and I love it)!

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18 Things Not To Forget on Your Next Cruise

I was thinking of all the things a first-time cruiser might not know about when cruising. So, I started a list of things that are usually needed/used when cruising.

1. A lanyard for your sign and sail card.
2. A power strip for all the phones and tablets you want to keep charged.
3. General and prescription meds and first aid kit (pain meds, sea sickness meds, aspirin, neosporin, hydrocortisone, muscle rub, orajel, etc.)
4. pop-up hamper
5. freezer bags (for ice pack, waterproofing phone on beach or at pool, and more)
6. Water bottle (ship cups are small)
7. Extra prescription meds (in case there is a delay getting back home).
8. Bug spray.
9. Sunscreen.
10. Battery powered alarm clock (most staterooms do not have a clock!).
11. Hat.
12. Jacket/sweater (ships can get cool at night, even on deck).
13. Water shoes (for pool or beach).
14. Powdered drink mix to add to water. Cuts down on (can eliminate) cost of sodas.

Tips

15. Put your phone on airplane mode so WiFi is disabled. I use my cell phone only for camera while out of US. If a port has free WiFi, connect to check-in or connect with family/friends/social media.
16. Check forecast of places you will visit to see what type of accessories you might need (rain gear, umbrella, light jacket).
17. Most cruise lines have an app for communicating with others on the ship. Download it before you leave and know how it works.
18. If you do experience sea sickness, try getting in the pool (unless you are nauseated), eating green apples or saltine crackers. Ginger pills may also help (I keep some at home all the time for minor stomach problems).

Can you think on any other tips or things not to forget when cruising? If so, message me. I would love to add them to the list.
McMillian Travel is here to help you on your first cruise or your 50th cruise! We love cruising and want to make your next one an awesome one. Call us and let's go somewhere!

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Buying or Selling Real Estate?

On the advise of an awesome employer and friend, Michael Diggs, I went to real estate school in 1998. It wasn't something I had thought of doing before Michael suggested it. A few years later, he would ask me to help him with a commercial deal in Charlotte, NC. Of course I was delighted to assist him. I went back to school in 2001 and got my real estate brokers licenses. I opened my own real estate company and enjoyed working with buyers and sellers for the next several years. But, in 2015, I closed my business because there were not a lot of people in my area who wanted to purchase homes. I had worked hard to get my license and just let them go inactive as I was not doing business any longer. In 2016, I found a company called Park Place Realty Network. They allow agents in North Carolina (and a few other states) to work with them in referring buyers and sellers. The great part is, I can work with any buyer or seller in any state in the United States! We work to find the best agents in the area the customer is looking to buy or sell in. When we find the right agent, I refer my client and they are taken care of. I do receive a small referral fee for sending the agency a new client. It is a win-win for everyone. Sometimes, the agent does not work out. In that case, we can go back and find another agent for the client. I work hard to make sure my referral client is satisfied and has a great experience.
If you know anyone who is buying or selling a home, I would love the opportunity to assist. Please visit http://www.brendamcmillian.com/real-estate.html

What If?

What if we stopped reducing our dead loved ones to a birth date and a death date. Although we think of them often, sometimes we hone in on when they were born and the day they died. What about all the dates in between? Why can't we remember and celebrate a time when they made us proud or a time they made us laugh so hard we cried or a time they made us beam with pride or hang our head in embarrassment? Life is made up of so many moments worth remembering. What if we let the tombstone be the only place that remembers their first day and their last day? Let us celebrate all those days in between.

How Do You Butter Your Toast?

When I was little, my mother always made toast the same way. She would put the butter in the middle of the bread and toast it. That is the only way I knew to make toast. All because it was the only place I had ever eaten breakfast.

Then I visited my aunt and cousins in Thomasville, NC. Their house is right in front of a railroad track. That, however, is another story for another day. Anyway, my cousin Annie made breakfast for us each morning when we spent the night. 

It was there that I learned the lesson that things in life could indeed be different. It was there I learned that everyone does not do things the same way. It was there that I tasted what I call "5 star" toast. Not only did Annie put butter in the center of the bread, she also put small pieces of butter on each "corner". So, instead of just getting the butter when you got to the middle, you would get butter with almost every bite. What a treat that was because I love butter! 

That one shift changed the way I looked at toast. So much so that when I grew up, I always made "5 star" toast for my family. Now, my children may look strangely at others who only put butter in the center of the bread. Who knows, they may now make toast the same way for their family.

That simple change, that one shift, taught me to look at things differently. It taught me that people do things differently and that does not have to be a bad thing. If we look at those small differences, we may just learn a thing or two. It may cause us do things differently. It may help us to embrace the difference and make it our own. My toast won't win any contests or cause any major breakthroughs in life. But, for those who love butter, it makes breakfast at my house a treat.